Weapons of Mass Compassion

Compassion is defined as a deep feeling of sadness or care for someone who is suffering, paired with a strong desire and drive to help them. I offer compassion to everyone; compassion is my greatest weapon.

Compassion is not generally considered a weapon. It is revered as benevolence, kindness, and a marker of humanity. The well-known idiom, ‘to kill with kindness,’ hints at awareness of another perspective. Sometimes an overly sweet response is enough to soften an attack, but an act of compassion will end the war.

Faced with a flash of anger in response to someone’s words or behaviors, we are given a choice – respond in kind or respond with kindness. We are also given an opportunity – heal with weapons of mass compassion.

When we feel anger, especially when it comes on suddenly, we want to blame our immediate surroundings. He said something offensive; we choose to retort with an insult. She behaved rudely; we tell mutual friends and damage her reputation. These are examples off responding in kind, tit-for-tat aggressions that perpetuate the misbehavior. Responding with kindness may look like silence when he says something offensive or offering a snack when she behaves rudely. With kindness, the misbehavior is stopped in its tracks but does nothing to prevent its recurrence.

A compassionate response when angered is the epitome of healing. This is a difficult lesson to master and requires emotional maturity.

Anger is merely a response to a trigger, a sign that you have a wound to heal. Not him and not her; you. The trigger is not the cause and finding the root of your anger is the only way to heal it.

Seek to understand the person who triggered you, showing compassion, and you will reveal the wound you need to heal. Ask yourself, why does he think that? Why am I offended by what he said? Would the same words spoken by another offend me in the same way? What might she be feeling to explain why she behaved that way? What have I experienced that made me behave in a similar way? Was her misbehavior directed at me, or was she acting out her own experiences and I was merely a witness? The answers to these questions provide opportunity for self-reflection and recognition that you, too, have angered others. If you accept and forgive your own misbehaviors, can you also accept and forgive those of others?

As you develop the skill for compassion your response to anger will shift. You no longer blame your surroundings; you first look within. Hearing him use a slur that used to make you see red, will expand your heart knowing he feels attacked but incapable of protecting himself. When she pushes past you brusquely, you recognize the insistency of hunger weakens one’s resolve and allow her to get in line at the register ahead of you.

Weapons of mass compassion is the use of compassion as a tool to overcome a perceived enemy. The external trigger you attribute to a response of anger is not the real enemy. The real enemy is your internal wound, a moment in time that created suffering for which you bear the responsibility of healing.

Hammurabi’s code, an eye for an eye, is a fool’s errand in cyclical pain.